Don’t Shame the Shades

Max Larsen, Sports Editor

Recently, I had a substitute teacher come to class. Usually, I just think of them as another teacher and continue with class. But something made him different, cooler, and yet, so intimidating. He was wearing sunglasses.

It is clear to see that the first Chuck Norris is way cooler and way more intimidating. The second one, holding the water guns; he’s more likely to get invited to a 7-year-old kid’s birthday party and be the balloon animal artist.

Now, this is Arnold Schwarzenegger. One is clearly more skilled and intimidating. The first appears to be ready to fight anyone, and his hands are more than likely to be legally classified as weapons that are banned in 31 out of 50 states. The second just looks like he wants a hug and to be read a bedtime story.

The main differences that separate these two compared images are the sunglasses. They elevate one’s majesticness. Especially with dark lenses, it may be hard to tell where someone is looking. Teachers who wear sunglasses have an advantage over students. If a student thinks they are being cool, and talking to their friend, any teacher could catch them with their empowering sunglasses. The students would be in shock, as they were just caught by their teacher. Shockingly enough, most people just wear sunglasses to protect their eyes from the sun, when they can be used for so much more. People may have more power than they realize, which can be dangerous. The empowerment of sunglasses may rest in the hands of anyone. One last notable aspect of sunglasses is that some sunglasses can cover one’s eyebrows. Without being able to read one’s eyebrow expression, it can be a lot more intimidating. You would never know if they are mad or not at you, which can make one’s appearance more threatening.

For such an accessible item, sunglasses are a quick and easy intimidation factor that anyone can obtain. They grant power to all that use them, even if it is unintentional. Never knowing where someone is looking, eyebrow obscuration, and the state of being majestic are all empowering aspects that make sunglasses so cool.