So Saint Valentine hasn’t blessed you this year. Boo hoo. This is your opportunity to show him that he should have. Since you don’t have a date this year, you can do anything you desire. You could sit at home in your chocolate-stained Camp Conundrum shirt watching Titanic. You could have a computer-lit date with your Tumblr dedicated to Daniel Sharman. Or you could get off your sorry butt and make a night of it. Pull yourself together, girl.

On this day of love, or lack thereof, it’s time to shine. No matter if you only drive to Walgreens to pick up a film with your bestie; you still have to look ready-for-any-spontaneous-romantic-act-by-a-random-citizen-on-the-corner-of-happy-and-healthy. Spruce up your attitude and get ready for your last opportunity to look skinny before all the chocolate from the night goes straight to your thighs.

Let’s start with the basics: red, white, and pink. In any form. Try to avoid tacky jewelry in those colors: opt for sophisticated silver or gold instead. Plus, then you can pretend someone gave it to you – or rather tossed it in the pile of other riches at your feet now that people worship you and your spectacular sense of self and style. And remember the rules; only use what you already own or can DIY – save your money for more candy. Keep in mind the objective is to impress everyone, not just some overrated singular date. Just because it isn’t raining men doesn’t mean it isn’t raining compliments. Let’s go.