Scarred and Scared

Women aren’t the only ones left scarred in a relationship.

Sammi Tester, Editor of Student Opinion

When most people think of abusive relationships – whether emotional or physical abuse – they think of women that couldn’t fend for herself against a strong, overpowering man. However, it’s only a rare occasion that a torn-down man is the first image that pops into one’s mind when they hear “emotionally or physically abusive relationship.”

I was just scrolling through Buzzfeed one day when I saw the headline “19 Heartbreaking Confessions From Men Suffering From Emotional Abuse;” I was compelled to read it to say the least. While going through the 19 Whisper confessions, a sad fact hit me. I had never thought of men getting abused before. All the countless episodes of “Cops” I watched with my dad when I was little depicted a female victim in a domestic violence case. Although I know about the issue of females getting abused, cat-called, and raped by strangers and even loved ones, it’s important to know men go through bad relationships they feel neglected in.

A 2010 national survey by the Centers of Disease Control and Department of Justice found that more men than women were victims of violence in an intimate relationship and 40 percent of severe physical violence was towards men. Another survey conducted by National Intimate Partner and Sexual Assault, within one year 5,365,000 men were the victim of physical violence with an intimate partner while 4,741,000 women were. The numbers in both cases are astounding and make me feel almost nauseous because so many people are in abusive relationships. has a page to help abused men and a separate one for women. On the page for women, there is information about how to get out, find help, and heal. On the page for men, there is information about why men are abused, hotlines, and how to move on. One page has significantly more information than the other: the women’s. After I looked into it more, it’s very easy to find multiple shelters for abused women in each state, but internationally it’s demanding to find shelters for abused men.

I’m not trying to say that women don’t need all the help they are receiving because they do – but, so do men. We should be looking at all cases of violence in relationships because they all matter and they all need help. Media should start showing the suffering some men face, not just the pain they inflict on women. It’s important to know both genders are being abused and to reach out to everyone that is in danger.